Work is a joke!

Quarter 1 ended with a nice blast. A blast I only will like to celebrate with my ever committed assistance who has put up with my temper, my utterly weird personality and my post stress syndrome. Although we did fairly well for the portfolio, I cannot help but feel three major negative connotes emotion that could break me, my team and spirit moving forward. It's fear, disappointment and through with shit

People or friends who know me well, recognizes that I am not a fragile and uncertain person when it comes to work or career. The last time when people take me for granted for ,y ability at work in vice with age, I obtain my masters and consecutively worked in a full time in a management role to prove that I am a no-nonsense business professional. My lack of experience in the field, I make it up w my knowledge in reading, case studies, networking and practical application. I like the right pressure and push, not the typical comical politics at work.

I really do enjoy my work initially, but the past months has been challenging for me. I realize I am filled with negativity. I feel distance and just a robot at work. There is this urge for me to stop what I do and just drop the act. I set new goals, renew strategies of staying at work, learn to deal with devils advocate and constantly reminded of the greater responsibility of a manager a leader (which I am not actually in terms and papers) in hope to find a light beam to continue my existing career.

But when the person credibility and integrity is questioned, constantly treated as a disposition rather than recognition, it saddens me. The emotion and rambles that is expressed turns to disappointment with series of event, occurrence of situations that are mostly head shaking, soulfully tiring and mentally insulting. My sensitivity and ability to grasp situational analysis very well tires me when one leader (or few) starts-acting like a kid excerpting unrealistic, wasteful demands which then eats positive innovative energy.

Deep I know. Lets simplify it then.

Fear brews as expectations are higher now and parallel workloads w stress are climbing, but reward and recognition is questionable. To make matters worst, reputation and credibility is then challenged constantly in daily routine work, sometimes just a joke one will say! Tiresome tops with emotional grunts as well as imbalance EQ judgement leads to disappointment. Yes' me! And soon, the "through with shit" phase comes in! And all will be too late... Too late

So, is it time yet?