Talent. Peculiar I must say. Some has natural abilities to just see right through you. It could be the ability that one was either born with or one that was sharpen from life learning experiences.
Today over a short period at lunch, one pointed out the obvious and had put thoughts into other colleagues of mine. I guess I've never been really really that good with hiding but rather good in story telling. Thus when someone decided to just put the laundry out in the spotlight of the sun, I had no comeback line. I wasn't even sure if I will continue to hide and was very close to reveal a secret, burden over my shoulders
Thus even that said, I had not express the intention to come clean and out yet. Not in the present set of mind and also not in my company. So I delayed the conversation, go into another that has more story value and quickly swap between casual chats and dramatic past stories to avoid going into this topic. A wise woman told me once, fight a war or battle that you can win. Else, why go into a fight????
So I conceal my secret for another day and to be honest, that takes talent...
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Sunday @ Feeling Cafe
Ever wonder why people sit at the patio and sip tea? One word, contentment. People who will spend time relaxing and not chase after expectations or set-goals are usually content with what they have. Logically that is why they sort of let time fly by without doing much. Of course, for the moment in time, frozen to catch your own breath.
Speaking of that, I pretty much is doing that for now. Charging up for the weeks to come, after looking at the company marketing plan and boss anti-ergonomic working habit - I am pretty much just lazing around to gather strength in both physical and mental contribution needed for work. Having someone to chill with does help, someone that share the same ideas in life and someone who want to just simply be around without any expectation sort of brush off the same vibe just adds to the bonus of contentment.
I miss this feeling and to have it come back without any expectation is just rocking great. I guess I am ready to recover now, to try and try again. The idea of going to malls have been relit, the idea of choosing which place to eat and hang out has been the hottest topic of conversation, having to have constant reliable 3G connection is crucial and having to make the extra efforts always seen so simple... Crossing fingers I hope we will get to down wheatgrass unexpectedly again. And if possible for years to come. Again, fingers crossed
Speaking of that, I pretty much is doing that for now. Charging up for the weeks to come, after looking at the company marketing plan and boss anti-ergonomic working habit - I am pretty much just lazing around to gather strength in both physical and mental contribution needed for work. Having someone to chill with does help, someone that share the same ideas in life and someone who want to just simply be around without any expectation sort of brush off the same vibe just adds to the bonus of contentment.
I miss this feeling and to have it come back without any expectation is just rocking great. I guess I am ready to recover now, to try and try again. The idea of going to malls have been relit, the idea of choosing which place to eat and hang out has been the hottest topic of conversation, having to have constant reliable 3G connection is crucial and having to make the extra efforts always seen so simple... Crossing fingers I hope we will get to down wheatgrass unexpectedly again. And if possible for years to come. Again, fingers crossed
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Today, what I did
Today I walked away. I woke up at 730am today to crying kid from the Neighbour. It wasn't his fault really but the alarm on my phone would have failed and I would have been late to work if it wasn't for the persistent cry baby.
As I rushed to work after the usual zombiefied me, due to late sleep and a strainful last minute brainstorm sharing session the night before - I begin pricking my brain to manage like 3-5 important task before I take the 4 hours drive back to kl for work.
Greeted with some internal work challenges and to rush off to meet my GM for approval, I absolutely missed my 1st priority task. I was awesomely, handsomely and proudly late. Upon half completed job, and some fiercy expression later - I find myself in the need to start my journey to meet a client. It was hell, except that the pain was shortlived as I quickly barged out of office. I hate it, why do we have to be so busy when we are busy!!!
The rain came, car's tyre are not replaced and I had at least the idea of an accident behind my head every 15min through the drive. Stress. 4 hours of non toilet stop or break drive later, I had the meeting w my client on the dot. It was probably the only good thing that happened. Jam back to home was the usual, expected.
So as I was just empty mindlessly wandering to grasp air and some time to digest what's up for tomorrow meeting... Dad had to come up and gently question the selection of Internet provider. On and on he went, asking probing suggesting and expecting answers...
He got it at last when I stood up and walked away. I know it is rude and bad, but my head and ear and neck aches. Give me a break.
Sorry but life's about acting upon something and even if the decision is not the best option or favorite, at least I took the gut and effort. So for that moment, I can't take it and decided to just sleep in my room and blog
And here you go. The typical Thursday report...
As I rushed to work after the usual zombiefied me, due to late sleep and a strainful last minute brainstorm sharing session the night before - I begin pricking my brain to manage like 3-5 important task before I take the 4 hours drive back to kl for work.
Greeted with some internal work challenges and to rush off to meet my GM for approval, I absolutely missed my 1st priority task. I was awesomely, handsomely and proudly late. Upon half completed job, and some fiercy expression later - I find myself in the need to start my journey to meet a client. It was hell, except that the pain was shortlived as I quickly barged out of office. I hate it, why do we have to be so busy when we are busy!!!
The rain came, car's tyre are not replaced and I had at least the idea of an accident behind my head every 15min through the drive. Stress. 4 hours of non toilet stop or break drive later, I had the meeting w my client on the dot. It was probably the only good thing that happened. Jam back to home was the usual, expected.
So as I was just empty mindlessly wandering to grasp air and some time to digest what's up for tomorrow meeting... Dad had to come up and gently question the selection of Internet provider. On and on he went, asking probing suggesting and expecting answers...
He got it at last when I stood up and walked away. I know it is rude and bad, but my head and ear and neck aches. Give me a break.
Sorry but life's about acting upon something and even if the decision is not the best option or favorite, at least I took the gut and effort. So for that moment, I can't take it and decided to just sleep in my room and blog
And here you go. The typical Thursday report...
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The libran pharmacist
Taking my breath away. It is amazing how words of affection and also some attention can just stir someone away from being all bitter. I like it. Smitten a close friend called it. Have I begin something I myself am anticipating for a long time? Answers that I dare not demand but today, the jazz music sounds a little more light and is more lovely than the usuals. Am sure it wasn't the music, but the mood
Smitten. I am actually looking forward for the weekend, although it will be short lived but I could write a thousand love songs over again. It felt right, after 3 years and probably 3 different person... This summer breeze is not only a blunt breathtaking scenery but also someone with a lil substance and innocence. Those close friend who remarked smitten, today remarked him as someone worthy ...
Having told the truth that I moved on from the previous relationship and that I am so obviously happy and actually glow - I am trying to make it work without over promises and under deliver. But slow is an understatement when major and general decisions are made...
So where do I go on from here, and for what purpose... Others felt like a theses or assignment paper that requires acknowledgement and passing points, to top w lots of practice, tears and hardship... Mine currently felt like a fresh new air brought by a stranger wind...
And I like the fresh air
Smitten. I am actually looking forward for the weekend, although it will be short lived but I could write a thousand love songs over again. It felt right, after 3 years and probably 3 different person... This summer breeze is not only a blunt breathtaking scenery but also someone with a lil substance and innocence. Those close friend who remarked smitten, today remarked him as someone worthy ...
Having told the truth that I moved on from the previous relationship and that I am so obviously happy and actually glow - I am trying to make it work without over promises and under deliver. But slow is an understatement when major and general decisions are made...
So where do I go on from here, and for what purpose... Others felt like a theses or assignment paper that requires acknowledgement and passing points, to top w lots of practice, tears and hardship... Mine currently felt like a fresh new air brought by a stranger wind...
And I like the fresh air
Friday, February 15, 2013
Metaphoric CNY 2013 experiences
Many things happened this week. Either than the yearly CNY celebration and visits, I have met the most friends in one week, both new and old ones. Metaphoric speaking, it was like butterflies and spring flowers.
It started off with gazing stars, the Japanese roof top was something new and different. I didn't know it exist and because it does, it seems like a dream. A dream that should only stay the same. It was no doubt a great view and experience. Metaphoric speaking, heavenly breathtaking.
Then there was the river breeze over at hometown. It was comfortable chilly and yet an eye opener. Or eye candy? It was no doubt the most random and most adventurous one can do over a few hours over the river. There were story of snakes, the rare duck, the caution passerbys and the stories of traditional slumber methods. Metaphorically it was fresh air, breath!
The fallen sick one was a complete opposite discourse. The lioness has her heir and shared thoughts of how kingdom can be ruin or conquer. A conquest the lion detest, yet rewarding. The request accepted and denied was still worth the stroll at the park. Metaphoric speaking, a walk at the park was never that easy.
And the beer factory encounter was none the least the best but also the worst. Yin Yang and the test bestowed upon those eyes. It was a journey, a discovery, some sacrifices, some expression and the icy magical valentine treat. It was the nights of the mornings, and soon the distance of the physical soul. The small things in live does matter, but the bigger picture is still missing. At risk. Metaphoric speaking, soul searching is never that easy
So enough of the air impression and ever searching pinnacle. Where would my next metaphoric experience bring me???
It started off with gazing stars, the Japanese roof top was something new and different. I didn't know it exist and because it does, it seems like a dream. A dream that should only stay the same. It was no doubt a great view and experience. Metaphoric speaking, heavenly breathtaking.
Then there was the river breeze over at hometown. It was comfortable chilly and yet an eye opener. Or eye candy? It was no doubt the most random and most adventurous one can do over a few hours over the river. There were story of snakes, the rare duck, the caution passerbys and the stories of traditional slumber methods. Metaphorically it was fresh air, breath!
The fallen sick one was a complete opposite discourse. The lioness has her heir and shared thoughts of how kingdom can be ruin or conquer. A conquest the lion detest, yet rewarding. The request accepted and denied was still worth the stroll at the park. Metaphoric speaking, a walk at the park was never that easy.
And the beer factory encounter was none the least the best but also the worst. Yin Yang and the test bestowed upon those eyes. It was a journey, a discovery, some sacrifices, some expression and the icy magical valentine treat. It was the nights of the mornings, and soon the distance of the physical soul. The small things in live does matter, but the bigger picture is still missing. At risk. Metaphoric speaking, soul searching is never that easy
So enough of the air impression and ever searching pinnacle. Where would my next metaphoric experience bring me???
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Definitions
Tired. The only thing I can feel now is this. Whatever situation or condition that I am in is now diverted into just being fatigue. I am no longer able to be responsive, no longer being able to react and most likely no longer being able to live by it.
Sick. Is the feeling I am encountering each day now. Whether it is friends, flings, dates, love, work or even families, I can no longer differentiate whether I am sick of dealing with the issues or whether I am just tired from all the issues?
When you combine both sick and tired. Most of the time the only answer from formulation you get is fucked. This fucked, is when you no longer have an aim, objective and drive. You cannot live in the moment, you are restless for the future or plans upcoming and you definitely forget any past that is important in creating the good in you today.
Am I fucked?
Fucked. The stand still one has in life without any meaning to move on, to develop and to learn grow teach at the same time. The black out and dark void one sees in his vision, hearing, perception and aid. The greatness in one suppressed for an empty expectation for comfort or contentment result. The obligation to live only for the wrong reasons.
I am fucked
Sick. Is the feeling I am encountering each day now. Whether it is friends, flings, dates, love, work or even families, I can no longer differentiate whether I am sick of dealing with the issues or whether I am just tired from all the issues?
When you combine both sick and tired. Most of the time the only answer from formulation you get is fucked. This fucked, is when you no longer have an aim, objective and drive. You cannot live in the moment, you are restless for the future or plans upcoming and you definitely forget any past that is important in creating the good in you today.
Am I fucked?
Fucked. The stand still one has in life without any meaning to move on, to develop and to learn grow teach at the same time. The black out and dark void one sees in his vision, hearing, perception and aid. The greatness in one suppressed for an empty expectation for comfort or contentment result. The obligation to live only for the wrong reasons.
I am fucked
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