I was showering earlier and somehow, I remember the same time last year - I was hit with a depression. A very deep one. It was the month that my brand manager left, back to Germany and it felt that a huge burden task and responsibility fell on my shoulder. I was alone at home and looking at the ceiling, in questioning why things happened the way it happened? And the same time two years ago, I probably was asking myself why did I sign up for a job that seem so fragile back then?
Today the me, right now lying on my bed and blogging, I really do not know what I will be doing one year from now. Probably looking for a new job but will that come true? I envision myself to at least try and own a business but that said, I have to say - I am not even sure I can take those risk. Gone were the days where things were a bit more naive and straightforward. It has definitely got to do with ageing, going into work and owning commitments where you have to pay the bank for the next few decades.
So if you really ask me why am I always wondering in the past, I have to admit - I am clueless.
But one things for sure, I am happy that depression is not the first thing on my mind now. I am now tuning my mind and also energy to brace the next 6 months, as I feel - work will top and hopefully not topple.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Some weekend learnings
The weekend ended. It's the first weekend that I spend in JB entirely unplanned, at home and pretty much just recovering from the hectic workdays. I did not entertain any of my friends invitation to go out, I know it is a bit rude to turn friends down but the alone time was crucially needed. Like how one would said, it was well spent. The weekend.
I found a few revelation these two days by just being home bound. That I am really a lazy bummer in the day, especially before 12. I salute people who can just wake up from bed, early wee and start their day fresh! Double salute to those who even make it out to the nearby park for a morning jog. It was definitely months ago when something like this happened. I woke up early and set my day forth with plus points for productivity. I am not even sure was it the sleeping position, pillow perhaps helped? Or was it the diet the night before, or temperature or Aircond setting? Or was it just luck that night it was a good sleep altogether?
I also realize how monotonous, boring and routine my life can get. I hardly look out the box these days. I buy the same brand of milk, cereal and even groceries to certain extend. A variety wouldnt kill for sure, but lately life has been pretty much too hectic for a comfort change, or even addition. I looked at the unfinished books gsthering dust, the boxes of LEGO stacking up, the house still in a mess and have yet to receive any facelift or improvement in furnituring! Not to mentioned the studio lighting sitting for months and Project KC which has been also sitting for weeks now. ZERO progrssion i tell you! tsk tsk so dissapointing. For months I have tried shedding a different life but bad habits are indeed hard to kick.
Talking bout kicking habits. I am officially cutting my sugar in take as well as controlling my diet due to my fitness challenger. Don't go too far an idea wth that. It is a personal one, with no string attached except for personal expectation! As many of you may know, my percentage of body fat is ... Sad. With the record of 15% , I am trying to trim it to around 13% in the next month or two without making myself look thin. Means,'I have double job - to lose my fats and to put on some muscles. Not bulking but trying to at least get a nicer more meaty body. So I begin my low carb diet, healthy fat intakes, frequening the gym and running, cutting out the sugary drinks, and not to mention me reducing the intake of oily and iced consumables... Then to top it up w my in-take on Mass Tech, I hope I can really achieve some
Improvement in my body. Hopefully by Aug...
Ok time to also sleep. This is gotta be the latest. 40 min passed 12am. I bed now before 12 or lucky by 1130pm. So this is the other new habit I hope to instill. Sleeping early. Although sometimes I ended up hungry zzz ...
Sunday, June 16, 2013
June gone! oMG
I am back in JB. As I lie here in my bed wondering what had happened for the past few weeks, I came to a conclusion that the older ones' life gets - the faster time passed by. I am very certain that many of you readers will find similar note either on My Facebook status or even in my past posts. Anyway, can you believe it?!?! It's almost half the year had passed!!
The past few weeks had been crazy for me. Extensive travel and extremely busy with work had most of my time occupied. This June, with only 3 weeks passed had nothing but hectic lifestyle. I feel like a celebrity really! With the back and forth travel to KL, doubling as a good son and friends, to doubling up as a good manager and new project leader at work, to having to spend equal quality time with friends, best friends who wants to connect... And not to mentioned the body breaking down demanding for rest and peace of mind.
Then the weather was turning crazy. The rain, the heat and the combination of both, altering temperament of environment was one way of frustration. As the thick haze creeping from Indonesia continues to polute its neighboring countries, I can feel the shortbreath and side effects that it could to both to business and health. The add ons were bonus, the sleepwalking, the jaydreaming, the little ghost stories, the OMGs jaw dropping exposures and the rest were history. I, at this juncture is impressed by how faith and fate had intertwined all the happenings to just appear in less than a month.
June is definitely a busy month. Both for my body and head... Please let the reamining days be peaceful but I doubt it...
Friday, June 14, 2013
Man of Steel - Superman
I am still wondering why they named the movie man of steel... Was it because that the word Superman is a bit cheesy? Overused? Or fear that the movie reception will not be good?
Title and names aside, the overall movie was not too bad. The story progression and background was a very brave thing to do. In most movie these days especially it revolves around a superhero, we either often get bluffed by the director totally amending the story or it would be too draggy, or long winded. Think of Ang Lee's Incredible Hulk. I have to say, it was painful.
Man in steel does a very good background check on Supermans origin, his search for humanity and hope as well as finding fit in earth gives the audience a good reality check how the superhero become who he is today. Genius to have scenes and sequences roll between Kal, Clark Kent and Young Clark Kent. But who will expect less of Christopher Nolan's work right? CN was not the director but a producer who probably influenced the story flow
Althought I think Amy Adams did a great job in acting, I somehow felt she is not the Lois Lane of my expectation. The image of Teri Hatcher acting as Ms Lane in the Superman TV series didn't quite help me to ease into Amy's role. I felt she was a bit too short, a bit too shy, doesn't quite look like someone Superman would fall in love with and the hair is way just too ... Em ... Not Lois. Not doing it for me.
The sound effects of the movie was the big winner for me. The music and how sound was used throughout to build suspense and drama - purely thumbs up for me. The scene where Johnathan Kent, played by Kevin Costner who was swept away by the tornado refusing his son to reveal his gifted talent was touching. I had tears circling. It was very emotional to see the sacrifice one will and can make to protect. It was in the eyes. I tell you, these actors are good with their eyes.
The clever part of having a "lex corp" oil tanker blow up during the fight between superman and zod was like a teaser to introduce lex luthor perhaps in a sequel?
And with the ending of having him put on the infamous black frame glasses was a huge turn on. Good way to end the movie.
I wouldn't say it was like the best superhero comic adaptation movie I watched for the year, since ironman 3 was a strong contender but I highly recommend this movie. After all, how bad can the movie be with the main actor who is a hunky handsome charming lad in modern tight fitting fighting suit w his famous cape? Lol
Monday, June 10, 2013
Writer's Block
First things first. Forgive me if I am going to have some minor spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. I had my best friend visiting yesterday night, called Insomnia and had been up for hours in a workshop earlier monday, squeezing any worthy left of juice from the brain and happened to now just sit in bed, with the laptop and had this urge to blog.
I think I will begin with having the writer's block.
To be honest with you all, I do not think I was ever a good writer to begin with. It was done in the past purely to seek attention from my friends, since back then most university friends kept in touch through viral means. It was blog post for stories, before the existent of whatsapp surface and definitely for someone who doesn't own a facebook account - was a blessing to begin with. I used the blog primarily to keep writing, to keep the brain freeze away and *with a striking roman warrior pose* to enhance my communication writing abilities.
So after the rambling on the top. I hardly write these days. With the confessions of such news, it is only gentleman to admit fault that I have been pretty much lazy and procrastinated on practices that I once deemed as a a fun fit duty. Admirable as I may be to some, I felt that behind close doors in my cozy apartment, I slouch and suck at completing the daily commitment to-do list
Thus here I am - even with only one eye opened since the other is asleep, I pushed myself a little more to get a post up. It may be shorter than my usuals posts, but it is a good start for the month. Or was it mid month already?
...
I think I will begin with having the writer's block.
To be honest with you all, I do not think I was ever a good writer to begin with. It was done in the past purely to seek attention from my friends, since back then most university friends kept in touch through viral means. It was blog post for stories, before the existent of whatsapp surface and definitely for someone who doesn't own a facebook account - was a blessing to begin with. I used the blog primarily to keep writing, to keep the brain freeze away and *with a striking roman warrior pose* to enhance my communication writing abilities.
So after the rambling on the top. I hardly write these days. With the confessions of such news, it is only gentleman to admit fault that I have been pretty much lazy and procrastinated on practices that I once deemed as a a fun fit duty. Admirable as I may be to some, I felt that behind close doors in my cozy apartment, I slouch and suck at completing the daily commitment to-do list
Thus here I am - even with only one eye opened since the other is asleep, I pushed myself a little more to get a post up. It may be shorter than my usuals posts, but it is a good start for the month. Or was it mid month already?
...
Friday, May 31, 2013
Milestones Recap
Anyone realise it is June already? And counting down 30 days - it will be half the year had gone by. I was just wondering had anyone actually achieved or completed their new year resolution? I remembered I am not a big fan of resolutions, and this year particularly I did set some milestones for the sake of having some mini accomplishment. To be honest, I kinda forgot them already.
Back in those days when I was in KL, every year is like a challenging year. From starting up a company, run it, earning back the capital investment, then letting it generate passive income, to owning a property, completing my masters degree and launching my career in a corporate world, this year is really like a set back for me. Some had asked me to take it a challenge to rest the mind, soul and body since the past 5 years had just flew by with all the work, stress and routine picked up to achieve my yearly milestones.
The past months, I admit I was really taking a breeze walk at the park. I self diagnosed it as recovery treatment for post syndrome in launcing one of Malaysia's most important landmark for tourism. But when the time flew by, and occasionally when I have time to sit and think - damn I been quite the lazy prick. If an assessment is done on my "milestone targets" (not that I formally set one!), I would probably score a voluntarily separation scheme.
Back to making 2013 a more productive learning year for myself, I set some personal goals which I absolutely think it is a piece of cake to achieve compared to the latter years. Just 5 things.
1. To bring my Japanese language communication skills to the next level. Status : Kinda in progress
2. To learn and master a new social dance. Status : Kinda all over the place with this progress
3. To save, live thrifty and diverse investment for future savings. Status : Kinda in progress
4. To really build my body and regain tone-fit healthy figure. Status : Seem to be in progress for years!
5. To be more environmental friendly and savvy. Status : Definitely. I think?!!?
So with vague and many kinda in progress status - I probably should shoot myself in the foot because if I ever look back 7 months later in december. I am sure most of the status is the same.
Here goes the pessimistic rocket launching to space!
Perhaps if I consider getting attached a milestone, I might had already achieve that?
Back in those days when I was in KL, every year is like a challenging year. From starting up a company, run it, earning back the capital investment, then letting it generate passive income, to owning a property, completing my masters degree and launching my career in a corporate world, this year is really like a set back for me. Some had asked me to take it a challenge to rest the mind, soul and body since the past 5 years had just flew by with all the work, stress and routine picked up to achieve my yearly milestones.
The past months, I admit I was really taking a breeze walk at the park. I self diagnosed it as recovery treatment for post syndrome in launcing one of Malaysia's most important landmark for tourism. But when the time flew by, and occasionally when I have time to sit and think - damn I been quite the lazy prick. If an assessment is done on my "milestone targets" (not that I formally set one!), I would probably score a voluntarily separation scheme.
Back to making 2013 a more productive learning year for myself, I set some personal goals which I absolutely think it is a piece of cake to achieve compared to the latter years. Just 5 things.
1. To bring my Japanese language communication skills to the next level. Status : Kinda in progress
2. To learn and master a new social dance. Status : Kinda all over the place with this progress
3. To save, live thrifty and diverse investment for future savings. Status : Kinda in progress
4. To really build my body and regain tone-fit healthy figure. Status : Seem to be in progress for years!
5. To be more environmental friendly and savvy. Status : Definitely. I think?!!?
So with vague and many kinda in progress status - I probably should shoot myself in the foot because if I ever look back 7 months later in december. I am sure most of the status is the same.
Here goes the pessimistic rocket launching to space!
Perhaps if I consider getting attached a milestone, I might had already achieve that?
Monday, May 20, 2013
Feeling Poetic
It's the 21st just passed seventeen,
My sweet tooth munching kept me awake,
While I am perked, lazing and keen,
A few hours more we will be celebrating.
Amazing reminisce counting months ahead,
State of self in surprised and ever impressed,
Through times I vow we shall dictate,
The ups, the downs, the life, till the dead
Together we roar and balance in find,
Pray the day we both tie in kind,
Thou life juggles and so we have to brave,
Through thick and thin the road we shall pave.
It is the greatest gift in all I say,
For you I am rich in the poetic way,
Like the lyrics listen come what may,
Wish you were here through night and day.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Disoriented moment
I feel so disoriented today. I am not even sure if today existed. I am talking bout Tuesday the 14th May. Woke up feeling totally under the weather. With a heavy head I dragged myself to work, only to get stuck in a horrible jam. No reason, just slow traffic and stand still at a junction. Upon rushing to meet wawa, we had discussions on how to further improvise points for a proposal, which is not supposedly done by me - or rather by my company. But boss insist, slave have to oblige.
Then it was off to lunch, and crazily rushing over to a client place. We were late of course. The discussion went on and by the time we are done - it was an hour of traffic bumper to bumper. With the rainy weather, a tired mind and adrenaline to rush back to JB office to finish a presentation didn't quite help. The matter of fact that one has to drive 4 hours and to finish a presentation by 10pm immediately upon arrival at the office wasn't a spendid idea. But, one still has to do it
To throw in a consolation price, received some news while whisking my way back south. It was not a neutral call but one that was filled with voice of disappointment. I totally don the situation. There were questions popping. There weren't concrete answers. Then a silence brewed over. Is that all that can be done? I absolutely have no clue but only to present my supporting shoulder and ears. Sad none the less.
Upon arrival, there was the acceleration mode to complete the last task of the day. The task of completing a proposal in a quiet work environment. There was an eerie feeling that resonates with the bug outside the window. The aircond has stopped, only quiet buzzing sounds from the lighting transformer. Alone. Weird. I had a minute of silence just to ask myself, why the hardwork and commitment? Gotten no answer. Continued and send the update 10min before 10pm. An achievement. I congratulate myself and decided to hit the loo before departing home
The grand prize of course was to see my favorite Burberry belt buckle fall onto the ground, with no apparent reason. He decided to just break apart, detaching himself from the leather strap. So there you go, I am just uncannily disoriented. It felt like I was struck by a heavy bolt of bad omens. with a tired mind, and an almost unbreakable temper ... I barely made it home with a comfort heart. Am utterly amazed that I still can post.
Monday, May 13, 2013
The fast passed week
After the whole week of mourning and sulking over the election results, many of us have passed the stage of chnging our black profile pictures back to normal, resuming life in this country where obvious cronies rule unethically. Enough politics for the week, life has resume its pace.
This week, is the a lot of things to do week. Monday started with a big bang in the head... A blue and blur one. Quickly time passed and within the few hours of getting time spent w SC after work wasn't quite enough, I feel so bad that I did not spend more time, quality time. But seeing him soundly resting next to me now was a relief. He has departed to dreamland, often the latter ...I believe this is the second time, the first was on 20th April last month @ MO. It felt good I must say. It felt comfortable and sinfully pleasant.
I often wonder how it will feel like the next few days without the company. I have to say the past few days has been nothing but joy. Having someone to company you. Having someone to find comfort in you. Having someone for someone. Time was easier to fill and things tend to move faster, especially when it comes to shopping or grocery marketing ... Buying for each other and often checking with each other for decision making... Sweet I must say
Enough said, perhaps I should post next week...just to check and update on status huh...
Saturday, May 4, 2013
4 May - Eve of Msia general election
In less than a few hours, I believe many will be casting their votes in Malaysia. It is said to be one of the most important election for the country as many can see, for the first time - the ever powerful and unshaken government coalition is on their toes. You can see with the amount of advertisement, tax payer moneys' they have splurge in the objective to fish votes. Aside the last minute promises, there's nothing much I think the government can else do to convince it's people. If they have done their job in the perspective for the country and its' fellow respected citizen - I believe they only need to do less at the time of campaigning.
As I sit in my best friend's bedroom transferring movies to my laptop and casually catching up with him, I can't help but hope that there will be some great news tomorrow about the same time. Being a pessimistic drawn person, I still think the government coalition will win. Change always takes time. Having that said, I am still not comfortable with that idea
It will be my first time voting. So, I will like to cast my vote for a governance of just. A government that listens, tell, educate and care his people the right, clean, safe and transparent way. I will be fulfilling my rights as a citizen to decide fates of future generation in my conscious heart, empathic perspective and open mind with the final decision.
I will like to take this opportunity to also claim that I am not ignorant and shall not be, something that some of you may have remember me for "washing" my hands on politics - deciding to never vote. I am going to go against my word this time around ...
As I sit in my best friend's bedroom transferring movies to my laptop and casually catching up with him, I can't help but hope that there will be some great news tomorrow about the same time. Being a pessimistic drawn person, I still think the government coalition will win. Change always takes time. Having that said, I am still not comfortable with that idea
It will be my first time voting. So, I will like to cast my vote for a governance of just. A government that listens, tell, educate and care his people the right, clean, safe and transparent way. I will be fulfilling my rights as a citizen to decide fates of future generation in my conscious heart, empathic perspective and open mind with the final decision.
I will like to take this opportunity to also claim that I am not ignorant and shall not be, something that some of you may have remember me for "washing" my hands on politics - deciding to never vote. I am going to go against my word this time around ...
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Wang Lee Hom - Da Cheng Xiao Ai
乌黑的发围盘成一个圈
wu hei de fa wei pan cheng yi ge quan
缠绕所有对你的眷恋
chan rao suo you dui ni de juan lian
搁着半透明的脸
ge zhuo ban tou ming de lian
嘴里说的语言完全没有欺骗
zui li shuo de yu yan wan quan mei you qi pian
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
wu ding hui se wa pian an jing de hua mian
灯火是你美丽那张脸
deng huo shi ni mei li na zhang lian
终于找到所有流浪的终点
zhong yu zhao dao suo you liu lang de zhong dian
你的微笑就输了疲倦
ni de wei xiao jiu shu liao pi juan
千万不要说天长地久
qian wan bu yao shuo tian chang di jiu
免的你觉的我不切实际
mian de ni jue de wo bu qie shi ji
想多么简单就多么简单
xiang duo me jian dan jiu duo me jian dan
是妈妈告诉我的哲理
shi ma ma gao su wo de zhe li
脑袋都是你心里都是你
nao dai du shi ni xin li du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li hao tian mi
念的都是你全部都是你
nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li zhi wei ni qing xin
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
wu ding hui se wa pian an jing de hua mian
灯火是你美丽那张脸
deng huo shi ni mei li na zhang lian
终于找到所有流浪的终点
zhong yu zhao dao suo you liu lang de zhong dian
你的微笑就输了疲倦
ni de wei xiao jiu shu liao pi juan
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
wu ding hui se wa pian an jing de hua mian
灯火是你美丽那张脸
deng huo shi ni mei li na zhang lian
终于找到所有流浪的终点
zhong yu zhao dao suo you liu lang de zhong dian
让我大声的对你说... I’m Thinking Of You
rang wo da sheng de dui ni shuo... I m Thinking Of You
脑袋都是你心里都是你
nao dai du shi ni xin li du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li hao tian mi
念的都是你全部都是你
nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li zhi wei ni qing xin
那回城的票根你留做纪念
na hui cheng de piao gen ni liu zuo ji nian
不必害怕面对离别
bu bi hai pa mian dui li bie
剪掉一丝头发让我放在胸前
jian diao yi si tou fa rang wo fang zai xiong qian
走到那里都有你陪
zou dao na li du you ni pei
相随
xiang sui
脑袋都是你心里都是你
nao dai du shi ni xin li du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li hao tian mi
念的都是你全部都是你
nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li zhi wei ni qing xin
OH~~念的都是你全部都是你
OH~~ nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
拉拉拉拉拉~~~~~拉拉拉拉拉
la la la la la ~~~~~ la la la la la
那一种寸步不离的感觉
na yi zhong cun bu bu li de gan jue
我知道就叫 做 缘
wo zhi dao jiu jiao zuo yuan
wu hei de fa wei pan cheng yi ge quan
缠绕所有对你的眷恋
chan rao suo you dui ni de juan lian
搁着半透明的脸
ge zhuo ban tou ming de lian
嘴里说的语言完全没有欺骗
zui li shuo de yu yan wan quan mei you qi pian
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
wu ding hui se wa pian an jing de hua mian
灯火是你美丽那张脸
deng huo shi ni mei li na zhang lian
终于找到所有流浪的终点
zhong yu zhao dao suo you liu lang de zhong dian
你的微笑就输了疲倦
ni de wei xiao jiu shu liao pi juan
千万不要说天长地久
qian wan bu yao shuo tian chang di jiu
免的你觉的我不切实际
mian de ni jue de wo bu qie shi ji
想多么简单就多么简单
xiang duo me jian dan jiu duo me jian dan
是妈妈告诉我的哲理
shi ma ma gao su wo de zhe li
脑袋都是你心里都是你
nao dai du shi ni xin li du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li hao tian mi
念的都是你全部都是你
nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li zhi wei ni qing xin
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
wu ding hui se wa pian an jing de hua mian
灯火是你美丽那张脸
deng huo shi ni mei li na zhang lian
终于找到所有流浪的终点
zhong yu zhao dao suo you liu lang de zhong dian
你的微笑就输了疲倦
ni de wei xiao jiu shu liao pi juan
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
wu ding hui se wa pian an jing de hua mian
灯火是你美丽那张脸
deng huo shi ni mei li na zhang lian
终于找到所有流浪的终点
zhong yu zhao dao suo you liu lang de zhong dian
让我大声的对你说... I’m Thinking Of You
rang wo da sheng de dui ni shuo... I m Thinking Of You
脑袋都是你心里都是你
nao dai du shi ni xin li du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li hao tian mi
念的都是你全部都是你
nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li zhi wei ni qing xin
那回城的票根你留做纪念
na hui cheng de piao gen ni liu zuo ji nian
不必害怕面对离别
bu bi hai pa mian dui li bie
剪掉一丝头发让我放在胸前
jian diao yi si tou fa rang wo fang zai xiong qian
走到那里都有你陪
zou dao na li du you ni pei
相随
xiang sui
脑袋都是你心里都是你
nao dai du shi ni xin li du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li hao tian mi
念的都是你全部都是你
nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
xiao xiao de ai zai na cheng li zhi wei ni qing xin
OH~~念的都是你全部都是你
OH~~ nian de du shi ni quan bu du shi ni
拉拉拉拉拉~~~~~拉拉拉拉拉
la la la la la ~~~~~ la la la la la
那一种寸步不离的感觉
na yi zhong cun bu bu li de gan jue
我知道就叫 做 缘
wo zhi dao jiu jiao zuo yuan
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Settling or setting?
It's been some time. Wanted to sit at a cafe to post today but ended up napping for 3 hours in the day. Thanks to the rainy, cold weather this morning. It's the typical Sunday here in Johor, where I did nothing but catch up a lil on cooking, reading and cleaning. Of course, I did a bit of jogging and to pass time, iPad and TV helped. It's like a routine once a month, I will just sit back relax and perform domestic activities like mentioned.
Having time was a little fun too except that I did not manage to work on my song. Lyrics however you put it. Left my Lappie back in KL to be sent for repair (hopefully not too exp) and once I get the machine back - I should be finishing the lyrics soon. Being at this age and with the commitments at hand, I find it more difficult for me to just sit and get inspiration to write
I also plan to restart my part time job of uploading pics to royalty free site for passive income. The photo taking, editing, keywording, uploading and managing entire process is a bit heavy and the efforts required, to develop good commercial generating jncome photos seem to be quite the challenge for me. But I know it's worth the investment for passive future income. I have the lighting whom I believe the effect and all will help. So it's only picking the right date to start... Hopefully soon with some encouragement from my inner suppressed passion for photography ...
Am also seeking to brush up my Japanese. Am kinda desperate to master the language. I believe there is a huge market for the jap speaking professionals especially being Neighbour to Singapore. If I master japanese, means I can command 4 languages in my disposal for communications. Definitely an additional portfolio to my achievement... The only trouble and challenge is picking it up in Johor seems like a difficult task - classes are far, jap speaking friends are scarce and not to mention expensive
Out of all the things I mentioned above, either than different aspect of improvements I want to pick up in different areas, the similarity is that if find everything additional on top of work is difficult and a challenge. I have to admit, I aged. Long gone the days when things are easy and just quick to manage. Gone I must say. Everything these days are hard, losing fat to put on weight, the commitment of working out at the gym, the push to seek better opportunities and advancement, the ability to stay focus, the creative roadblocks frequent the mind and having to often to doubt myself or to be outside the box compliments the orthodox of just finding excuses and procrastinate.
So I guess I better get some things done and motivate myself before I fall into the comfort zone of just aging slowly, and maturing content-fully without improvement
Damn the stress in life.
Having time was a little fun too except that I did not manage to work on my song. Lyrics however you put it. Left my Lappie back in KL to be sent for repair (hopefully not too exp) and once I get the machine back - I should be finishing the lyrics soon. Being at this age and with the commitments at hand, I find it more difficult for me to just sit and get inspiration to write
I also plan to restart my part time job of uploading pics to royalty free site for passive income. The photo taking, editing, keywording, uploading and managing entire process is a bit heavy and the efforts required, to develop good commercial generating jncome photos seem to be quite the challenge for me. But I know it's worth the investment for passive future income. I have the lighting whom I believe the effect and all will help. So it's only picking the right date to start... Hopefully soon with some encouragement from my inner suppressed passion for photography ...
Am also seeking to brush up my Japanese. Am kinda desperate to master the language. I believe there is a huge market for the jap speaking professionals especially being Neighbour to Singapore. If I master japanese, means I can command 4 languages in my disposal for communications. Definitely an additional portfolio to my achievement... The only trouble and challenge is picking it up in Johor seems like a difficult task - classes are far, jap speaking friends are scarce and not to mention expensive
Out of all the things I mentioned above, either than different aspect of improvements I want to pick up in different areas, the similarity is that if find everything additional on top of work is difficult and a challenge. I have to admit, I aged. Long gone the days when things are easy and just quick to manage. Gone I must say. Everything these days are hard, losing fat to put on weight, the commitment of working out at the gym, the push to seek better opportunities and advancement, the ability to stay focus, the creative roadblocks frequent the mind and having to often to doubt myself or to be outside the box compliments the orthodox of just finding excuses and procrastinate.
So I guess I better get some things done and motivate myself before I fall into the comfort zone of just aging slowly, and maturing content-fully without improvement
Damn the stress in life.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Scalp Care and home remedy
Lately, I have been having some challenges with my skin. My scalp is reddish with spots and often flake. Upon reading more and seeking advices from friends, some factors to look into is to provide proper health to your scalp, something which I have neglected. Some quick points to look after
1. Always swap between two shampoos that suits your needs. This is to prevent the scalp from accustoming to a particular shampoo. Combination of the few will help throw a perfect balance into the scalp. For me, I am going to start using a PH balance shampoo to restore my scalp's PH and alternate between a milder dandruff control shampoo.
2. Never ever massage the conditioner directly on to the scalp. A mistake I regret thinking that it helps smoothen the hair. I shall now only massage with luke warm water after the shampooing and conditioning.
3. Reduce harsh treatment, coloring, texturing, applying hair products with peroxide or alcohol content items. Do note that hair stylist and scalp therapist is important to give you the good advices, since they are often your eyes - but differentiate them with sincere professional feedbacks as vis with making money by selling.
4. Refrain from using direct hair-drying technique. Best method to dry the hair is with towel, by dabbing and reading a book under the breezy fain. Let the scalp breath they say, the natural way.
5. Practice a one-day per week without chemical application on the hair. I use Sunday for these. Casual and chemical-free. This should include shampooing too. Unless if you go on an exercise regime and had expose your hair/scalp to dirty conditions. Then, ya ... it's like fasting. I heard lime with warm water helps, but ain't sure of the effect.
6. Change your pillow cover. You spend almost 6-8 hours of sleep, having the scalp rest on the pillow. If you have oily or even dry scalp, imagine the space and also body heat that ones disperse on the pillow. Should you sweat and wet the pillow, a change is highly recommended. Use an anti-bacterial care spray for extra protection
7. Vitamin E oils, lavender oils and olive oil can be alternative home remedy for moist but vary on skin conditions. Ensure that you read and research before starting on a regime. Consider grease, scalp conditions, allergies as well as lifestyle before you apply. You do not want to be donning a suit and tie smelling like a lavender farm in a business meeting
Some quick ideas for those who like to care for their scalp. Should itch and pain occurs on scalp, consult a skin specialist to avoid worsening conditions. Cheers
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Desaru 2013
Back from the beach. Desaru is really a soul feeding and laid back area. It is nothing compared to the tourist flocked islands or beaches like Redang, Tioman, etc. But the quiet environment, birds chirping and sea breeze is enough for me.
As the trip was organized by my colleagues, in the objective of just laying back and relax - I did most of the driving. Something I don't usually like to do. The problem with staying in a beach at Desaru is that everything else is quite a distant drive. The two short street of Penawar Town may not be suffice for those who just want to include a decent meal to fill the stomach. Thus, we drove to nearby towns, braving through quiet roads and palms on both side of the scenery for food. Tiring, for me none the less.That said, I did not complain much, but perhaps occasionally show the face or two subtly.
Anyway, the trip is still a nice one.
Just that when I fell asleep at the hammock on the beach after an hour of sun bathing and another in the pool, I woke up reminiscing the trip to Redang with my bros many years back. It was so fun with them, there was a lot of laughs, reading, girls with bikinis, guys in trunks, marine fishes and diving. We never really talk about anything negative but just things we ought to do - often excitement and anticipation.
But I remember back then, I sat alone at the balcony, quietly in pain but really do not know why. It's not that I was depress, but rather sober. It was a trip with a lot of people, but I feel lonely. The usual feed. Today, I felt the similar. With all the laughs, there was this sense of loneliness. I did a good job covering I guess. There was some conflict that should I share or not, but while my bro was busy with his gadget and recovering from his demanding job, it felt that everyone was just trying to optimise their trip. Someone's sour cream may just not be the right fit of time. Yada yada yada ...
I tell that I should make it easy on myself. It's really not that difficult to just kick back and just relax.
So the whole trip was not as bad as it seems. To be honest, the last few moments of actually having someone to just plainly notice me,just me being my own helped. It's not that I wanted attention, but rather a friend who just can connect in that soul level. So when the right company came along, listening to the type of music you listen to, just quietly sitting at the balcony watching the rain dew and sea breeze hitting you - it recovers. That someone who understands you soulfully, with gentle offers of sourcing for my long-mandarin songs and that little concern over lunch helped me realize that sometimes it's worth having someone close to heart.
Now that I am writing this post, it feels like I am such a kid. Perhaps I am. But life's a bitch if everyone just does their thing and forget that little allowance to create that inner smile for others.
Thank you anyway. Thank you for creating that inner smile in this trip very last minute.
As the trip was organized by my colleagues, in the objective of just laying back and relax - I did most of the driving. Something I don't usually like to do. The problem with staying in a beach at Desaru is that everything else is quite a distant drive. The two short street of Penawar Town may not be suffice for those who just want to include a decent meal to fill the stomach. Thus, we drove to nearby towns, braving through quiet roads and palms on both side of the scenery for food. Tiring, for me none the less.That said, I did not complain much, but perhaps occasionally show the face or two subtly.
Anyway, the trip is still a nice one.
Just that when I fell asleep at the hammock on the beach after an hour of sun bathing and another in the pool, I woke up reminiscing the trip to Redang with my bros many years back. It was so fun with them, there was a lot of laughs, reading, girls with bikinis, guys in trunks, marine fishes and diving. We never really talk about anything negative but just things we ought to do - often excitement and anticipation.
But I remember back then, I sat alone at the balcony, quietly in pain but really do not know why. It's not that I was depress, but rather sober. It was a trip with a lot of people, but I feel lonely. The usual feed. Today, I felt the similar. With all the laughs, there was this sense of loneliness. I did a good job covering I guess. There was some conflict that should I share or not, but while my bro was busy with his gadget and recovering from his demanding job, it felt that everyone was just trying to optimise their trip. Someone's sour cream may just not be the right fit of time. Yada yada yada ...
I tell that I should make it easy on myself. It's really not that difficult to just kick back and just relax.
So the whole trip was not as bad as it seems. To be honest, the last few moments of actually having someone to just plainly notice me,just me being my own helped. It's not that I wanted attention, but rather a friend who just can connect in that soul level. So when the right company came along, listening to the type of music you listen to, just quietly sitting at the balcony watching the rain dew and sea breeze hitting you - it recovers. That someone who understands you soulfully, with gentle offers of sourcing for my long-mandarin songs and that little concern over lunch helped me realize that sometimes it's worth having someone close to heart.
Now that I am writing this post, it feels like I am such a kid. Perhaps I am. But life's a bitch if everyone just does their thing and forget that little allowance to create that inner smile for others.
Thank you anyway. Thank you for creating that inner smile in this trip very last minute.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Life getting tough
I find my life very interesting. I do not know how others
find theirs, but mine is filled with ups and downs. On occasions I think that I
am all grown, mature in braving the ever-volatile corporate world, then there
are times I behave just like a selfish spoiled brat.
Today as I drove to work, I ask myself why am I still in
Johor? What was the driving factor that pushed an urban boy right into the
heart of unknown, south, small quiet town? It was definitely not the magnetic
Singapore nor it was the prospectus job offer or was it? Back then, what I got
as an offer was definitely a taker. But in today’s expectation of deliverables
and also the total revenue my portfolio brings in, I ask myself why did I sign
up for a job, that is a two person’s job
No matter what I did, or how I do it – my immediate report
have this weird look in her eyes. I am confident from day one, she will not be
someone whom I like working with. Her more passive and nice approach, demeanor
meant only a good. I needed someone aggressive, structured and more demeaning
in a professional way. She utterly proves me right today when in a discussion,
hinted that I only complain most of the time.
I guess it hurts a lil, probably a tiny cat-scratch that
with all the achievement I have reportedly achieve in such a notice, it is
never satisfying or recognized. I benchmark recognition with reward, both
unpleasantly generic. So finally it took a toll. A human can only handle that
much of unwanted stress. How can others look up to you but when it comes to
your own report, looks weirdly at you.
I had decided to scout for greener field. Although I want to
stay a little longer, but I reason – there is almost no point. With the amount
of workload, and the diversion from my intended career goal – I need to find a
structure environment and a seasoned boss who appreciates my input in the
manner where I am credited for my achievement.
My only inner conflict is the battle for balance, culture
shock and readiness to trade off my comfort zone. Nothing beats a company that
you have build reputation, but nothing beats a challenging and constantly
emotionally draining reputation.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Work is a joke!
Quarter 1 ended with a nice blast. A blast I only will like to celebrate with my ever committed assistance who has put up with my temper, my utterly weird personality and my post stress syndrome. Although we did fairly well for the portfolio, I cannot help but feel three major negative connotes emotion that could break me, my team and spirit moving forward. It's fear, disappointment and through with shit
People or friends who know me well, recognizes that I am not a fragile and uncertain person when it comes to work or career. The last time when people take me for granted for ,y ability at work in vice with age, I obtain my masters and consecutively worked in a full time in a management role to prove that I am a no-nonsense business professional. My lack of experience in the field, I make it up w my knowledge in reading, case studies, networking and practical application. I like the right pressure and push, not the typical comical politics at work.
I really do enjoy my work initially, but the past months has been challenging for me. I realize I am filled with negativity. I feel distance and just a robot at work. There is this urge for me to stop what I do and just drop the act. I set new goals, renew strategies of staying at work, learn to deal with devils advocate and constantly reminded of the greater responsibility of a manager a leader (which I am not actually in terms and papers) in hope to find a light beam to continue my existing career.
But when the person credibility and integrity is questioned, constantly treated as a disposition rather than recognition, it saddens me. The emotion and rambles that is expressed turns to disappointment with series of event, occurrence of situations that are mostly head shaking, soulfully tiring and mentally insulting. My sensitivity and ability to grasp situational analysis very well tires me when one leader (or few) starts-acting like a kid excerpting unrealistic, wasteful demands which then eats positive innovative energy.
Deep I know. Lets simplify it then.
Fear brews as expectations are higher now and parallel workloads w stress are climbing, but reward and recognition is questionable. To make matters worst, reputation and credibility is then challenged constantly in daily routine work, sometimes just a joke one will say! Tiresome tops with emotional grunts as well as imbalance EQ judgement leads to disappointment. Yes' me! And soon, the "through with shit" phase comes in! And all will be too late... Too late
So, is it time yet?
People or friends who know me well, recognizes that I am not a fragile and uncertain person when it comes to work or career. The last time when people take me for granted for ,y ability at work in vice with age, I obtain my masters and consecutively worked in a full time in a management role to prove that I am a no-nonsense business professional. My lack of experience in the field, I make it up w my knowledge in reading, case studies, networking and practical application. I like the right pressure and push, not the typical comical politics at work.
I really do enjoy my work initially, but the past months has been challenging for me. I realize I am filled with negativity. I feel distance and just a robot at work. There is this urge for me to stop what I do and just drop the act. I set new goals, renew strategies of staying at work, learn to deal with devils advocate and constantly reminded of the greater responsibility of a manager a leader (which I am not actually in terms and papers) in hope to find a light beam to continue my existing career.
But when the person credibility and integrity is questioned, constantly treated as a disposition rather than recognition, it saddens me. The emotion and rambles that is expressed turns to disappointment with series of event, occurrence of situations that are mostly head shaking, soulfully tiring and mentally insulting. My sensitivity and ability to grasp situational analysis very well tires me when one leader (or few) starts-acting like a kid excerpting unrealistic, wasteful demands which then eats positive innovative energy.
Deep I know. Lets simplify it then.
Fear brews as expectations are higher now and parallel workloads w stress are climbing, but reward and recognition is questionable. To make matters worst, reputation and credibility is then challenged constantly in daily routine work, sometimes just a joke one will say! Tiresome tops with emotional grunts as well as imbalance EQ judgement leads to disappointment. Yes' me! And soon, the "through with shit" phase comes in! And all will be too late... Too late
So, is it time yet?
Friday, March 29, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Accidents are no joke
Driving on the highway has become a normality for me. Living 330km south these days, and having the nature of my job to meet clients at their HQ back in the city - one usually finds a black x-trail cruising (or occasionally speeding) on the highway. It was the usual after hours drive back yesterday and some flashes of thoughts came across my mind while driving. As the radio was blasting with music from my ipod, I asked myself - why do people drive so dangerously. That thought triggered after I saw a car (probably 20 years old) was speeding at 140km/p and above, swaying right and left, doing dangerous cornering and all.
For a short moment I thought, that car is gonna crash and the driver will be safe. Unfortunately for the other road users, some other victim is going be the one who is really hurt.
Then, I saw 3 busses trailing each other at high speed and was trying to overtake each other. Many cars maneuvers for safety. I did as well. As much as I was into dramatic action-packed explosion scenes, having to see busses doing somersault was not part of my wish list
Lastly, cars who trail very near to your bump was the final call. I always have this "naughty" feeling to just jam break and let the car run into you. But after the accident earlier this month, having someone who is driving probably around 60km/p on a normal road, banging into your car was no joke. I was thrown front so hard, so fast, so powerful and backwards, the one second ordeal resulted neckache for days and cars wrecked beyond moving. Thank god for the seat belt, else you can find me somewhere probably still strapped on a sick bed.
With most drivers who is on the extreme right lane at about 110km/p, I rather not have the naughty feeling thinking of the consequences and impact of how probably just a slight in-tact will look like.
Can't help but see car swinging from the extreme right lane to the middle, causing the a car carrying a happy family returning to the city after their awesome vacation outstation immediately trying to avoid the clash, swinging into under a trailer running at the left lane and the feeling of sudden stroke of fear following by the noise of screeching tyre, brakes and honks. The unfolding sound of metals which carry weight of guilt and death can only be the matter of another accident just literally kills me
I know how nasty a simple accident on the road can get from my experience. I recognize the agony and pain one goes through witnessing cries of an post highway accident from my dad's experience. But what I cannot understand is why other drivers cannot feel the same, the responsibility towards others when it comes safety ethics
This post will not make the difference in road safety in Malaysia. That's for sure, as our government and drivers lack the fundamental of social education and ethics. But I shall make that difference in my own family, friends, loved ones and acquaintances by sharing my horrifying accident both from my own and dads to remind them how dangerous roads can be
For a short moment I thought, that car is gonna crash and the driver will be safe. Unfortunately for the other road users, some other victim is going be the one who is really hurt.
Then, I saw 3 busses trailing each other at high speed and was trying to overtake each other. Many cars maneuvers for safety. I did as well. As much as I was into dramatic action-packed explosion scenes, having to see busses doing somersault was not part of my wish list
Lastly, cars who trail very near to your bump was the final call. I always have this "naughty" feeling to just jam break and let the car run into you. But after the accident earlier this month, having someone who is driving probably around 60km/p on a normal road, banging into your car was no joke. I was thrown front so hard, so fast, so powerful and backwards, the one second ordeal resulted neckache for days and cars wrecked beyond moving. Thank god for the seat belt, else you can find me somewhere probably still strapped on a sick bed.
With most drivers who is on the extreme right lane at about 110km/p, I rather not have the naughty feeling thinking of the consequences and impact of how probably just a slight in-tact will look like.
Can't help but see car swinging from the extreme right lane to the middle, causing the a car carrying a happy family returning to the city after their awesome vacation outstation immediately trying to avoid the clash, swinging into under a trailer running at the left lane and the feeling of sudden stroke of fear following by the noise of screeching tyre, brakes and honks. The unfolding sound of metals which carry weight of guilt and death can only be the matter of another accident just literally kills me
I know how nasty a simple accident on the road can get from my experience. I recognize the agony and pain one goes through witnessing cries of an post highway accident from my dad's experience. But what I cannot understand is why other drivers cannot feel the same, the responsibility towards others when it comes safety ethics
This post will not make the difference in road safety in Malaysia. That's for sure, as our government and drivers lack the fundamental of social education and ethics. But I shall make that difference in my own family, friends, loved ones and acquaintances by sharing my horrifying accident both from my own and dads to remind them how dangerous roads can be
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Learning the greatest gift & lesson in life
Ah, the anticipation of returning back to KL had never been so great. Someone special is waiting back home. It's great to have the consistency wishes and care felt. It is surely had been some time, years to be the matter... And I am so happy that we started out slow, savouring into knowing each other and slowly discovering other habits in our own perspective. Best part, we accept out flaws and discuss it openly without expectations. With all the sparks flying, all the music melodically fall into space and the reminisce of good time spent, we are still able to hold each other with pride and caution.
To add to the great feeling, we are quite a distance a part but never far from heart. Some who had guts to claim closeness proximity but without action or even words should really just slap themselves across. Expression is the key to keeping each other warm. Let it be words, wishes or even plainly the old fashion call - it makes wonder, creates fireworks and then turn the days into just hours. Time flies. And the anticipation builds again
I just wonder in less than about 20 hours, how it will all fall out. How will the feeling turn out? I know it is good, I know there is that someone who will sing my song, ring my tune, hear my heartache, grasp my pain, wipe my tears, smirk at my laugh and most important feel my heart beat, every single part of it...
How blessed I am to have that moment, the freedom and the greatest gift and lesson in life, to be loved and love in return
With love, I look forward as the time flies for today as I know the same time tomorrow, I will be in your arms. The feeling of going to tear seeing your sunshine smile.
Ah... Life s been good
To add to the great feeling, we are quite a distance a part but never far from heart. Some who had guts to claim closeness proximity but without action or even words should really just slap themselves across. Expression is the key to keeping each other warm. Let it be words, wishes or even plainly the old fashion call - it makes wonder, creates fireworks and then turn the days into just hours. Time flies. And the anticipation builds again
I just wonder in less than about 20 hours, how it will all fall out. How will the feeling turn out? I know it is good, I know there is that someone who will sing my song, ring my tune, hear my heartache, grasp my pain, wipe my tears, smirk at my laugh and most important feel my heart beat, every single part of it...
How blessed I am to have that moment, the freedom and the greatest gift and lesson in life, to be loved and love in return
With love, I look forward as the time flies for today as I know the same time tomorrow, I will be in your arms. The feeling of going to tear seeing your sunshine smile.
Ah... Life s been good
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Appetite
I woke up late today. It was like I was drowning in my dreams, happily tucked in until my bladder was yelling me to get up. I felt like a pig.
Yesterday instead was a very productive day. I wrote a list of things to do, and manage to slashed them all out just before the day end. If only everyday at work was like that, I am sure I will hit my KPIs by end year. Of course, easier said than done - my work doesn't only deal with KPIs but also another set of important data - attendance
I ask myself everyday, especially now when I have full talent capacity and staffing to progress - will life ever stop? As just plain human, no doubt we have constantly march forward and upwards. Climbing the corporate ladder is essential for capital survival, from the urban point of view of course. I had my share in the pain and gruesome politics and conflict management to get where I am today. Not that it is that great of an achievement, but some had put it ... successful at my age.
Not exactly proud of where I am, but grateful don't get me wrong - I make my life a bit harder than usual. Where did my appetite for the corporate soul come from? Was it from my internship - as how a friend put it - bitten by the business bug? Or was is just plainly genetics since Dad and his fellow brother comrades had worked all along in sales and marketing for FMCG sectors since the days where The Store was "D Place to shop"?
One needs to be hungry for that recognition and award in the industry and yet I ask myself, am I starving for more? The answer is clearly no. Had I reach a plateau for growth and self development? The answer is uncertain. Had I no longer remember my personal goal and career aim to get a good guru for mentorship. I am not exactly getting anywhere am I? But I am, looking at the my resume draft and achievement - there is so much more I can perfect and refine in this company.
I have yet to grow my reputation externally with my network and contacts. I have yet to grow my team's importance and dependency with external contact points. I have yet to improvise all internal structure and measurement with the idea for independence and empowerment at workforce. Perhaps those should be my appetite, my hunger for the last straw before I embark on a more selfish journey. Just one more time for the corporate soul to be filled and satisfied
Does corporate world really had that soul?
Hmm
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