Pink - Just give me a reason

One of my favourite songs ...

Accidents are no joke

Driving on the highway has become a normality for me. Living 330km south these days, and having the nature of my job to meet clients at their HQ back in the city - one usually finds a black x-trail cruising (or occasionally speeding) on the highway. It was the usual after hours drive back yesterday and some flashes of thoughts came across my mind while driving. As the radio was blasting with music from my ipod, I asked myself - why do people drive so dangerously. That thought triggered after I saw a car (probably 20 years old) was speeding at 140km/p and above, swaying right and left, doing dangerous cornering and all.

For a short moment I thought, that car is gonna crash and the driver will be safe. Unfortunately for the other road users, some other victim is going be the one who is really hurt.

Then, I saw 3 busses trailing each other at high speed and was trying to overtake each other. Many cars maneuvers for safety. I did as well. As much as I was into dramatic action-packed explosion scenes, having to see busses doing somersault was not part of my wish list

Lastly, cars who trail very near to your bump was the final call. I always have this "naughty" feeling to just jam break and let the car run into you. But after the accident earlier this month, having someone who is driving probably around 60km/p on a normal road, banging into your car was no joke. I was thrown front so hard, so fast, so powerful and backwards, the one second ordeal resulted neckache for days and cars wrecked beyond moving. Thank god for the seat belt, else you can find me somewhere probably still strapped on a sick bed.

With most drivers who is on the extreme right lane at about 110km/p, I rather not have the naughty feeling thinking of the consequences and impact of how probably just a slight in-tact will look like.

Can't help but see car swinging from the extreme right lane to the middle, causing the a car carrying a happy family returning to the city after their awesome vacation outstation immediately trying to avoid the clash, swinging into under a trailer running at the left lane and the feeling of sudden stroke of fear following by the noise of screeching tyre, brakes and honks. The unfolding sound of metals which carry weight of guilt and death can only be the matter of another accident just literally kills me

I know how nasty a simple accident on the road can get from my experience. I recognize the agony and pain one goes through witnessing cries of an post highway accident from my dad's experience. But what I cannot understand is why other drivers cannot feel the same, the responsibility towards others when it comes safety ethics

This post will not make the difference in road safety in Malaysia. That's for sure, as our government and drivers lack the fundamental of social education and ethics. But I shall make that difference in my own family, friends, loved ones and acquaintances by sharing my horrifying accident both from my own and dads to remind them how dangerous roads can be

Learning the greatest gift & lesson in life

Ah, the anticipation of returning back to KL had never been so great. Someone special is waiting back home. It's great to have the consistency wishes and care felt. It is surely had been some time, years to be the matter... And I am so happy that we started out slow, savouring into knowing each other and slowly discovering other habits in our own perspective. Best part, we accept out flaws and discuss it openly without expectations. With all the sparks flying, all the music melodically fall into space and the reminisce of good time spent, we are still able to hold each other with pride and caution.

To add to the great feeling, we are quite a distance a part but never far from heart. Some who had guts to claim closeness proximity but without action or even words should really just slap themselves across. Expression is the key to keeping each other warm. Let it be words, wishes or even plainly the old fashion call - it makes wonder, creates fireworks and then turn the days into just hours. Time flies. And the anticipation builds again

I just wonder in less than about 20 hours, how it will all fall out. How will the feeling turn out? I know it is good, I know there is that someone who will sing my song, ring my tune, hear my heartache, grasp my pain, wipe my tears, smirk at my laugh and most important feel my heart beat, every single part of it...

How blessed I am to have that moment, the freedom and the greatest gift and lesson in life, to be loved and love in return

With love, I look forward as the time flies for today as I know the same time tomorrow, I will be in your arms. The feeling of going to tear seeing your sunshine smile.

Ah... Life s been good

Appetite

I woke up late today. It was like I was drowning in my dreams, happily tucked in until my bladder was yelling me to get up. I felt like a pig. 

Yesterday instead was a very productive day. I wrote a list of things to do, and manage to slashed them all out just before the day end. If only everyday at work was like that, I am sure I will hit my KPIs by end year. Of course, easier said than done - my work doesn't only deal with KPIs but also another set of important data - attendance

I ask myself everyday, especially now when I have full talent capacity and staffing to progress - will life ever stop? As just plain human, no doubt we have constantly march forward and upwards. Climbing the corporate ladder is essential for capital survival, from the urban point of view of course. I had my share in the pain and gruesome politics and conflict management to get where I am today. Not that it is that great of an achievement, but some had put it ... successful at my age.

Not exactly proud of where I am, but grateful don't get me wrong - I make my life a bit harder than usual. Where did my appetite for the corporate soul come from? Was it from my internship - as how a friend put it - bitten by the business bug? Or was is just plainly genetics since Dad and his fellow brother comrades had worked all along in sales and marketing for FMCG sectors since the days where The Store was "D Place to shop"?

One needs to be hungry for that recognition and award in the industry and yet I ask myself, am I starving for more? The answer is clearly no. Had I reach a plateau for growth and self development? The answer is uncertain. Had I no longer remember my personal goal and career aim to get a good guru for mentorship. I am not exactly getting anywhere am I? But I am, looking at the my resume draft and achievement - there is so much more I can perfect and refine in this company. 

I have yet to grow my reputation externally with my network and contacts. I have yet to grow my team's importance and dependency with external contact points. I have yet to improvise all internal structure and measurement with the idea for independence and empowerment at workforce. Perhaps those should be my appetite, my hunger for the last straw before I embark on a more selfish journey. Just one more time for the corporate soul to be filled and satisfied

Does corporate world really had that soul?

Hmm

Rumba Class

Officially finish 18weeks of Rumba dance classes today. It was a very fun few finale lessons as we were put to the test in technique, execution and leading partner. I had lots of fun. One of the few ways I feel that I am feeding my soul. I do not know why, work is just plain work for me these days. Draining. Tiresome. Routine.

So when it comes to my Wednesday night, it's the usual dinner and practice for Rumba. Many times I doubt myself in a slow dance. Am so used to popping, hip dancing and hop grooving. So having to slow down each butt hip is something quite a challenge for someone who had retired from social dance scene since 5 years ago.

I wonder what is installed next week? Teacher had pre shown a new dance genre called jive. I wonder, will it be fun? It is definitely a faster pace and instead of a slow 4 beat step, hip. It's a 8 fast beat step skip. Hmmm

Detoxic for the body at home

As the title puts it, here are few natural ways;

1. Sweat it out
Ensure you drink plenty of water and go for a run or drive around in the car without Aircond (only work for tropical country), especially during blazing noon. Best way to disperse toxic content in body, sodium especially

2. Juice
Regimes for bitter greens work the best. Wheatgrass, Carrot, Lime, Lemon, Celery, Apples and Beets. Berries like cranberry is also thumbs up! Liver care is the key

3. Fasting
Let it be from alcohol, meat, carbs, oil, sugar or salt food. It is also the best way to diet to lose body fat. Consider processed food as evil too, sardines in can, fish balls, etc. Defense mechanism, stay away from harmful content

4. Avoid constipation
Kolons main function is to eject toxic for the body. So maintaining a balance healthy intake of fibre helps. Mango, banana, papaya, sweet potato leaves, brown rice and oats are high considerations

5. Stress management
Avoid anxiety and deep breathing helps. A more holistic perspective, being stress pushes the body into psychological conditions that deters the body to function properly, especially in detox. To add, stress leads to snacking of products that are usually high in preservatives and such - toxic to the body. To add logical speaking, deep breathing encourages calm of mind and oxygen circulation for the body.

The questions

Two of my senior colleagues today asked how I was doing at work? Ironically speaking, both of them asked the similar concern with the exact same tone and intention but only at different interval time. The answer I gave was nothing less than - discomfort. Most of the people ask me the similar question and to be honest, it sucks to give the same diplomatic answer when you just feel like using a katana, swiftly just slice open that someone and have a shotgun fire just as the body is about to hit the ground. Bloodied, splattered and blow into pieces.

But being the me I am, I smile cynically and squint my eye comically, walked away like a leo filled with pride.

I find it an absolutely pain soulfully having to be subjected to expectations and constant admiration of others but not having it recognized in the right way. In lay-human term, why do everyone in the office knows I deserve the promotion and recognition I deserved but nothing concrete is done?

Incompetency.

And so the close ones, the smart ones, the enlighten ones, the ever so supportive ones, the onlookers and the one with secrets asked to be patience. I wonder, how long can it last. It is exactly 12months + another soon if nothing is done. So it is only now a waiting game

I think the next time someone burped the question, especially the ones from work ... I will answer with a pinch of salt sprinkled into one's eye. Why not you ask the bloody peeps who is supposedly doing their work first, before the recipient?

And I will still smile cynically, squint my eyes and probably give a soft stepford housewive kinda pat on the person shoulder